A friend of mine is getting married. She’s had rough years of marriage breakdown and rebuilding a life as a single parent. She’s now met a lovely man and they are cementing a life together. She recently made a comment about losing weight before the wedding.
It got me wondering, how do we as mature women, having lived a full life and embarked on a menopausal journey, still be reduced to this? I am not immune. I was listening to a book on menopause for another post and while my symptoms are manageable, I did start to wonder if I should take HRT to shed the pounds that have decided at this stage of life to suddenly live around my middle. I did shake that idea away but I will admit I pondered it longer than I’m proud of.
Why do we still rarely see wrinkles in movies or a size 14 on tv? Why are all our achievements eclipsed by a few pounds in the ‘wrong’ places?
We are meant to be the guiding lights for our daughters, but I find I’m learning so much more from the younger generations than those that came before me.
I was at the Sumo when the host made a joke that was deemed a ‘fat’ joke and the audience quickly turned, making it clear it was unacceptable. The MC hastily back-peddled and I was a little proud at how far we have come in this mentality, at least when it comes to others. Or is it just when it comes to men?
I am exercising more and trying to eat more cautiously but most of all it’s my thought processes I’m trying to work on. I’ve been experimenting and whenever I wear a dress I think I’m a little too out of shape for, I almost always get a compliment from a stranger.
Even at this ripe old age, what I see in the mirror is distorted by the beauty standards of my youth. Intellectually I understand this but over-riding the critical vision is much harder.
My question – who put it in there and why is it so hard to update?
As for my friend, I told her to enjoy the dress and she will look wonderful. Confidence is like make-up that covers up our flaws…
You are right, we women are too hard on ourselves and always want to look perfect (thin, beautiful, good hair...). I've also put some weight around my middle, and always feel uncomfortable about it when I look in the mirror.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard getting used to new shape when you've spent 40+ years being a different one!
DeleteCongrats to your friend on her wedding! Enjoy the dresses and I hope you all enjoy the wedding! Take care, have a great day and happy new week!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing my words at top of this post Lydia! I shared them last month at my blog.
ReplyDeletehttps://comfortspiral.blogspot.com/2024/02/silly-sun.html
Thank you for sharing your own meaningful thoughts with us today. Aloha
Kindly attribute my quote in your collection for future use with my friendly permission:
DeleteCloudia Charters
Will add now. Sorry about that. I tried to google search where I got it from and couldn't find it...
Delete❤️
DeleteDear Lydia,
ReplyDeleteHaving recently met you, I can assure you: you are an attractive, smart woman with a very good charisma. You can feel comfortable in your skin and your figure!
Regarding the topic of losing weight before the wedding: I had a work colleague who "starved" herself into her wedding dress before the wedding. I don't know what the point of this is - is this just about pretty photos? Within a few weeks after the wedding, she had more pounds on her ribs than before... I try not to gain too much weight for health reasons, but I have long since given up on the idea of an "ideal figure" (according to medical standards) or a wrinkle-free face. We are all influenced, but we are allowed to shed that. Life is far too beautiful and important to make things difficult like this.
All the best,
Traude
https://rostrose.blogspot.com/2024/04/back-again-ich-bin-wieder-im-lande.html
Welcome home, my friend. I look forward to seeing your pics - what a marvellous trip you had! And thank you for the kind words. I agree, starving yourself for a wedding is nuts, because you will gain more weight when you return to normal eating!
DeleteHi Lydia, I wonder if I'll manage to leave a comment under your post. normally I can't :(
ReplyDeleteYou did manage. My blog has also decided not to ni=otify me of comments so I'm missing a lot. I've no idea why....
DeleteAmy, I can see your comment on the back end. My metabolism changed not just for food but alcohol. I can't even have half a glass and drive anymore. Zero if driving because I feel the affects almost instanteously!!
ReplyDeleteYes, the emphasis on being skinny is ridiculous. I did some extreme diets when I was young. I didn’t lose weight, but I think it messed up my digestion.
ReplyDeleteTaking good care of ourselves in body, mind and spirit is where our inner focus should be. The progress that comes from that is being the best that we can be. But all my life I haven't appreciated how beautiful I am and neither does my beautiful daughter. I like how you asked "How did it get in there?" We're surrounded by a society that has been dictating inside our minds. I believe it's time for us to decide what we want to believe and realize that our beliefs create our reality. This is an important topic and I'm glad I came across it. Thanks - Angie, www.yourtrueselfblog.com
ReplyDeleteI have so much weight around my middle it is another person and I want to lose it for health but I also wanted to stop telling myself I am less than because chronic illness and menopause has brought me here. :(
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