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Monday, 13 August 2018

You really need a Plan B

Now is the time that a lot of kids drop out of Uni. Often their parents need to preface this with a long story of how they are deferring while they decide what they do. Usually this actually means they know what they want to do but their parents aren't so comfortable with their choice. "They need a Plan B" meaning a university degree and a different career to the one that they've dropped out of university to pursue. 

But do they?

Can't we have a plan A and if that fails, find another plan A? Do we need to sabotage our plan A with a back up plan that inevitable takes over our path?

Why is it so hard for our parents to say, of the chosen course that has been dropped "They didn't like it. It actually wasn't for them". If you're 18, you have no idea what a career involves. If you can decide one semester in, that it's not really what you thought it would be, it's probably a GOOD sign. You know yourself, you know what interests you and you know this isn't it. 

If you already had a new plan, you're ahead of the game.

Maybe our generation of parents needs to realised the landscape has changed. Our ideas of 'safe' and 'conventional' are obsolete and even unhelpful.

Don't steal their dreams by forcing your ideals onto them. Their Plan A is their path until it isn't.
We could all learn to prioritise our plan A. It's never too late, no matter how lost we got in our 'back up' career.


29 comments:

  1. I dropped out after 1 year for many reasons but my parents supported my decision. Not many 18 yr old know what they really want to be - hey I didn't know until I was 40!!!!

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  2. I agree. I don't see life or careers as a straight path, it's more like a tree diagram. I think these days we have so many choices and it is our perogative to explore them. If you don't like something at uni, it's unlikely you'll like it any more when you're working (in fact, it's likely you'll like it even less) so quitting while you are ahead seems the most sensible thing to do.

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  3. I do agree. The education path is so different and more flexible than ever- so many options!

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  4. ...a plan C and D can come in handy too!

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  5. I never knew at 18 what I wanted to do. I didn't actually go to university I went straight into working, and I found myself in a job that I loved with good opportunities for progression. Then when I had my children in my early 20's I wanted to be at home with them. I left my job and initially planned to return to it later down the line. Then everything changed. Maybe its plan B, or maybe like you say its a new plan A. I retrained as a teaching assistant, began working at a nearby school and am currently studying for a degree with the OU to follow up with teacher training. Would I recommend to my children to take this route, maybe not, but it is working for me. #TwinklyTuesday

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    1. That's an interesting topic for another post - would we recommend what worked for us to our kids? A lot would say NO, even though perfectly happy with our path...I need to think about this more.

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  6. Great post. Honestly I was glad to know what I wanted to do and did that. For my kids...one knew (kind of) and one left school early and joined the workforce, returning to tertiary study some 8 years later. Our grandkids have had mixed responses to "after school what will you do" and I think let them find what it is. We already know that their working lives are more likely to be casual, part-time and go with that difference. Good one, Lydia. Denyse x

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  7. I agree that realising that you're not doing something that suits you and taking the decision to drop out of university can be a really brave move. I had no idea what I wanted to do when I was 18 (still don't at nearly 40!) but thankfully my parents didn't put any pressure on me and were happy as long as I did well at school. #dreamteam

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  8. Popping back again from #TwinklyTuesday

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  9. I knew from an early age what I wanted to study at Uni, but I think that's rare! I do agree though, what is the point in sticking to a degree if you know it's not for you?

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  10. I did a 4 year degree in something, then a Post Grad in something completely different, went on to be a primary teacher 11 years ago...and I'm not sure I'll be teaching forever! I'm 34 and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up!

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  11. Having a plan B can hold you back, if you have the safety net of a back up plan will you ever really risk it all #StayClassyMama

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  12. I had one drop out this year from Economics at a top Uni, now he is training as a carpenter and very happy. It is what they want not what we want as parents that counts. My next is off this year, I now know there is no guarantee he will love it as I once did. #KCACOLS

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  13. Great thinking and way to be fluid! #stayclassymama xox

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  14. I'm 36 and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up! What we want at 18 isn't necessarily what we want a few years down the line and I agree that dropping out because your realise it isn't something you want to do can only be a good thing. Thanks for linking up #twinklytuesday

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  15. I agree with 'don't steal their dreams by forcing your ideals onto them.'

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  16. Agree. Not many people know what they want to do at 18. University isn't for everyone.

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  17. I struggled with this myself; my parents could not fathom why I was leaving my course. But I am so much happier with the path I took; I really would have been useless in the profession/course I began. I hope this means I will be much more flexible with my own kids and their goals.

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  18. Striving not to live my life through my kids or to project my own desires and fears onto my kids is something I have to be very concious of #GlobalBlogging

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  19. True ... except the plan isn't really a plan A or B, or even C ... it's hope for the best and the real path will open up later!! #GlobalBlogging

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  20. I was dead set on a career path but then when I complete my degree there was no advice so I left and was a little lost. It took 6 months to find a job but I knew it would be my career. I was training for something else when I got pregnant with my eldest and had to stop the training. Now I'm a blogger! Life changes as we change. Thanks for linking up with #stayclassymama

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  21. Awesome post here...and yes I know I have already commented! Worth a second visit!

    Thank you for linking up for #lifethisweek. Next week's optional prompt is a photo-based one: Share Your Snaps 27/8/18. Denyse

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  22. Back again, form #globalblogging
    Looking form my plan C currently
    xo

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  23. Love this, so hard to make these decisions so early! I know I struggled with it. #KCACOLS

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  24. Words well said as usual! We try very hard to let our 8yo find he way and make her own mistakes. #kcacols

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  25. I was one of those people who clung on to the dear end even though I was dying a death on the wrong university course. I finished, and tried to get back into uni but I would never do it again! My plan A and plan B were dead wrong :D #KCACOLS

    shan
    x

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  26. I don't necessarily think University is the way forward for everyone - Misery Guts and I are still paying off student loans 20 years later! #KCACOLS

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  27. Great post. These days, there are lots of good ways out there to work. Plan A is not always the best plan.

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