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Monday, 6 August 2018

Did you ever think your life would come to this?

A friend asked me this over drinks over the weekend. I paused at the question but thought 'I think it's probably better than I thought'. However, had she asked me two years ago, it would have been a very different answer. In fact, a few years ago I tearily posed the very same question to someone else. My day to day was very demanding and I had little time for myself to even exercise for twenty minutes. There were a lot of people needing my time and very little enjoyment in what I did. While I'm still extremely busy, a lot of the pressures have lessened.

When you get to a certain age, there's a lot of hard and crappy obligations - dying and infirm parents, difficult teenage problems, health problems, money problems. Life in general and day to day existence is not a lot of fun.

However, when you wade through the swamp of misery and exhaustion, there is still light on the other side. It's just very hard to see at times.

Last night my Facebook, in it's creepy listening stalk-y way, threw up this article on the midlife dip and the happiness curve. There is a gap in our expectations (perhaps because our expectations were ill conceived in the first place). However, satisfaction in life can and will reappear when you least expect it. Don't bottle up your dissatisfaction, don't feel you need to put on a positive show, because it's all normal. Most importantly, don't discount friends who feel this way. If they seem to have everything going for them, it doesn't mean they can't be struggling.

For me, having had quite a few extraordinarily difficult years, being asked the question made me realise how far I'd come, and more importantly, how much everything had changed. Some good changes, some sad changes however for me, as the traveller in my life, I was faring much better through the rough seas.

That was quite a comfort for me. I'd not been aware of the change, and yet suddenly here I am.

As my friend concluded, we just have to make sure we make the most of the next 20 years!

Linking with #GlobalBlogging #KCACOLS #StayClassyMama #MummyMondays and #Dreamteam. Also off topic for #Lifethisweek as I'm flat out with real life this week!

31 comments:

  1. My life is only getting better and better. I am coping with the difficulties with more style and loving what life is sharing me.

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  2. Onwards and upwards here. Always. I'm not sure I have another 20 years ahead of me but determined to make the most of what I do have. Although my idea of making the most of it has most certainly changed (for the better) over the past few years.

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  3. I think there are always going to be curve balls, the trick is to catch them and run with them. I definitely come from the "make the most of it" school of thought and reassure myself that when times are tough, they're not going to last forever.

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  4. Until you posed that question to me right this minute, I've not actually thought about it. But now I am. Honestly, today, I'm in one of my rare slumps. Then I realise they aren't quite as rare these days. Perhaps my fully energetic "I can do anything" days are actually the rarity now. So now I need to ponder that question some more and perhaps do something about it ...

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    1. Listen to the interview on the linked article. It's really interesting. I'm keen to read the book. I think we don't think about this stuff until something prompts us. I was more surprised at my answer than my friends question. I hadn't realised I'd got out of a slump until she asked. Life is very much like that.

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  5. I am definitely feeling less pressure than I used to in some ways and making more time for myself- it’s very freeing!

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  6. And getting into our 60s and leaving jobs and family responsibilities behind it is even better..but of course, ill-health inevitably takes its toll but in general I would say we (hub is always satisfied with life status quo) OK, I am better at getting on with whatever and stressing less. Great post! Denyse x

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    1. Thank you for linking up for #lifethisweek. Next week's optional prompt is My Hairstyle History. Denyse

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  7. Life sure is a roller coaster but I wouldn’t want it any other way! xx #teamIBOT

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  8. There are certainly moments when I've thought that to myself. After weeks with no sleep, or the day I found myself cleaning vomit out of our holiday home after the child got so ill he was actually sick into my eyeball, my eyeball!! But it ebbs and flows and mostly it's pretty good.

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  9. There are those rough spots indeed. I'm glad you've come a long way.

    Have a fabulous day and thanks for visiting Comedy Plus. ♥

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  10. Love your post and I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks about my life this way. I think about where I've been, where I am now, and where I want to be. I think about my family and how much they've shaped my life and how precious it all is to me. #StayClassyMama

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  11. I love the idea of being a traveller through life. Thinking of it in that way makes the challenge of making the journey more exciting. Thanks for joining the #DreamTeam

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  12. I never imagined my life to have children so yeah totally not what I imagined lol X #stayclassymama

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  13. Life does throw some wrenches and curve balls when we least expect it, doesn't it. I am so rich in all the ways that are not financial! :) xoxo #stayclassymama

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  14. If we didn't have ti work for a living ... wouldn't it all be great? But maybe less fun without the struggle!

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  15. This was an interesting read. I'm glad that your decisions over the past two years have made you feel so much happier! I wonder if my 'mid-life dip' will hit later since I'm so damn old and I haven't done all the traditional things yet (marriage, family, etc)

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  16. This is really interesting. I honestly would never have thought I would be where I am right now but I wouldn't change it for the world. Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next time

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  17. I'm so glad things have improved for you and you are enjoying life :)

    Di from Max The Unicorn

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  18. I'm glad to read you've got out of a slump and you're enjoying life more.

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  19. I had a similar epiphanythe other week. We had a couple of seriously crappy years which culminated in the sea-change that we wouldn't have made if we hadn't had a couple of seriously crappy years. Our income is about a third of what it was, but our lifestyle is about a million times better. We're absolutely happier with less - but wouldn't have been if we hadn't had such a rough couple of years.

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  20. I definitely felt a dip in happiness levels when I turned 40. At almost 48 (just a couple of weeks away now!), I feel as though that's now lifting. Having cancer has taught me to appreciate the shizzy, boring stuff in life as this is 'life.' Now I am just happy to have whatever because at least I am alive. I hope that makes sense.

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    1. Makes a lot of sense. Thank you for sharing it.

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  21. I think life is basically a rollercoaster, there will be high times and low times, and not all areas of life will be high or low at the same time. For instance, in some parts of my life right now we are definitely on a high, yet in other areas, we are on the roll downhill and I know we have some tough stuff coming up. I know we can get through it though, because we always and I just try to keep that in my mind at all times.

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  22. Onwards and upwards, i'm a great believer in life is what you make of it. you set your own goals and you take responsibility for your own life

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  23. Lydia, this post really resonated with me today. That sense of having a different answer to the same question about life as it is 'now'. Time has been a great healer for me and it's also created a reassuring 'distance' from past difficult years and times.

    SSG xxx

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  24. Responsibilities change over the years but get harder! I'd rather than be caring for my parents and children than not have them! Thanks for linking up with #stayclassymama

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  25. Life is like a road - you get the rocky parts and then the smooth parts. But I've come to learn that taking things as it comes and dealing with it #globalblogging

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  26. Oh yes, definitely make the most of the next 20! #kcacols

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  27. I think life is a series of events sent to test us! I hope it gets better after 40 however #KCACOLS

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