Saturday 12 August 2023

“Comfort zones are most often expanded through discomfort.” — Peter McWilliams

Over the years I've become quite used to being the odd man out, fish out of water and so on. I've become quite comfortable being the oldest person in the room, ignoring looks or comments. If that's the price of a good time then so be it.

However, a friend really pushed me to my limit. After the elation of Palm Trees festival, we were both seeking to repeat the endorphin high. So she suggested Garden Party, an event at Ivy. I pointed out that this would not be like a festival, and even with a ticket they wouldn't let us in because we were old and bringing the vibe down. (They'd make up an excuse to do with what we were wearing but it would be literally our faces or bodies that were the problem). I suggested we see someone at Liberty Hall because they wouldn't care and it would be dark and so on. I thought we were in agreement.

Then she rang and said "I got us tickets to Garden Party". 

Linking this photo with #RubyTuesdayToo & #BlueMonday

So I spent a good month workshoping with anyone young what I could wear and how to avoid the humilation of being denied entry for being us. I had seen this post by the fabulous Iris Apfel, where she said you needed to get comfortable outside your comfort zone. So when my friend told me I didn't have to come if I really didn't want to (because I was banging on about the drama ahead), I said i would go and if we were turned away, we'd go and grab a cocktail somewhere and laugh about it.

In the end, as I had zero vaguely appropriate clothes (and had to wear sneakers if going to dance for 6 hours), I opted for my normal plain attire, dressed for invisiblity & comfort.  

We went for lunch and some cocktails before hand and then with some dutch courage, we headed to line up (and in my mind, certain humiliation). I was genuinely anxious about what they would say to us. However, as we reached the line, a man much older than us strolled up. Then more arrive. I said to my friend "Oh, we're golden. We're not even the oldest here".

We went in and danced our cares away. The Rave to the Grave crew suddenly making us socially accpetable and completely normal.

The moral is, there are more of you than you think, you just have to find your tribe.

The amount of time I spent preparing for insulting rejection in my head was absurd. I felt every inadequacy of appearance and ageing for weeks. I prepeared for a soul destroying humiliation, and felt the sting of it at times too. However, it never eventuated. Perhaps I have another lesson in that - to stop worrying in anticipation of a problem. 

Ulimately, I learnt even though I do a lot of different things and have grown my confidence in many ways, I'm still cruising in my comfort zone. And there is a lot more fun once you push through....

“Coming out of your comfort zone is tough in the beginning, chaotic in the middle, and awesome in the end, because in the end, it shows you a whole new world. Make an attempt.”

— Anonymous

And so I have another ticked off the list....

Torshlusspanik List:

1. Shooting (check)
2. Fencing (check)
3. Play croquet at Croquet Club
4. Laser skeet
5. Off road buggy driving
6. Play Assassins Creed
7. Jetpacking (check)
8. The Color Run (check)
9. Invent something
10. Cooking Masterclass (check)
11. Master a Masterclass (check)
12. Perform a rap song (check)
13. Trampoline adventure (check)
14. BMX Riding (check)
15. Do a cart wheel (check)
16. Ride an Electric Bike (check)
17. Astonish Myself
18. Write a book.
19. Participate in a distance event (check)
20. Climb Sydney Tower (check)
21. Dance in a dance class (check)
22. Trust a stranger
23. Get a truck for the Landmine Museum and Relief Centre in Siem Reap
24. Paint a picture
25. Go Rollerskating (check)
26. Do Chinese Square Dancing
27. Do some life drawing
28. Make something on a pottery wheel (check)
29. Try Axe Throwing (Check)
30. Get into a nightclub with 'a strict dress code'. (check)
31. Go to a gig that starts after midnight. (check)
32. Glass Blowing (Check)
33. Push myself right out of my comfort zone. (check)

esmesalon senior salon pitstop


  1. ...for years I've become quite used to being the odd man out, fish out of water too and I don't have a list! Good for you and thanks for hosting the party.

  2. Love the list because it has so many unusual things to be ticked off. I've done a colour run and a dance class but not many other things. Chinese Square Dancing sounds fun!

  3. Hi Lydia - you always seem so confident to me - it's reassuring to know that you have an inner mean girl trying to hold you back at times too - and I'm so glad you shut her up and had such a blast - go you!

    1. Honestly, it was every single insecurity I've ever had plus more rearing it's head.

  4. You are much braver than I. Just the idea of an evening like this makes me want to crawl under the bed and hide. I used to push myself to do something outside my comfort zone each month but this would be so far out of my comfort zone!!

  5. Honestly and truly that voice in your head needs to take a hike. You are loving what you are doing and this instance shows it. First cab off the rank to grab a new blog contributor badge Go you!! Thank you so much for linking you post to WWandPics this week. Next week, the link up continues beginning at 5.00 am WEDNESDAY Australian Eastern time and finishes at 5.00 am FRIDAY allowing an additional 12 hours for the blog linkers from the northern hemisphere. See you next week, on Denyse’s Words and Pics! And yes, I will be doing a “D” post!! Warm wishes, Denyse.

  6. Great photos which show an amazing place to visit#dreamteam

  7. We have laws against age discrimination in public stuff, affairs to sidewalks. That was a bummer, Lydia. I've been trying to have our youngest daughter take us to Singapore on her next work trip, she isn't for that. Will you be going for work or for holiday?

    1. We have laws but they would have said 'wrong shoes' or something...dress code kind of thing. Or so I thought. I'm going to Singapore for the F1 - whoohoot. Can not wait!

  8. Love it and I love your list. Brilliant.

    Thank you for joining the Happy Tuesday Blog Hop.

    Have a fabulous Happy Tuesday. Big hug. ♥